Amazing Expoding Straws Photo Jan 1983

Legendary Photo by Sandra (Helm) Dearing features many of the old Salem gang. Left to Right: Trey Miles, me, Bill Hill, Joey Cheatham and Chuck Barker. This was taken at the Beale's apartment. Like the letters shown below the photo has spent the last twenty plus years in a large manila envelope in my old room at my folks' house. Sandra claims to have more from this day and other olde tymes including the seminal Senior Talent Show throwdown.

Possible Bill, Chuck and Scott Collaboration

I remember cutting this unbelievably ridiculous Q and A out of some terrible doctor column in the newspaper. It was my idea to record Bill asking the question and me answering. Then, of course, to use it on one of the Poisonous Sewer Fish's tapes. We did read it behind a microphone in the Bell's basement, but whether or not we recorded it I don't know. The drawings on this piece of paper are either authentic Chuck or maybe Bill drew the figures in imitation of Chuck. Any ideas? Either way, this is likely the only extant piece of paper that all three of us contributed to. Oddly, I don't think we ever realized the typo in the answer. The first two words are reversed.

Note the clipping is being served up by Chuck's wait staff

Chuck's Letters from College #5: Envelope Only

Yowzuh! Speaking of obscene return addresses...Freddy Fuckwad? Does the Postal Service pay any attention at all? I guess that was the gag. I wonder if anyone sorting student mail at Roanoke College in early 1982 was deeply offended as they inserted this compelling missive into ol' box 211. The world may never know.

Green Ink? Who has green ink?

His usual expressive faces and a Zappa reference

Chuck's Letters from College: Letter #4 Envelope Only

Not only could Chuck get a letter through the mail containing an obscene return address, it didn't matter that my name was completely misspelled on purpose. I love the super curvy figure holding up the upside down stamp. Feast yer eyes on this, jerkies.

Ah, Bill Bookcase where are you now?

Chuck's Letters from College: Letter #3 The Grand Daddy of Them All!

The third in my series of Chuck's letters to me from UVa has about it the stuff of legend. The drawing of a disappointed Ralph Sampson, the profane antics of Mr and Mrs Filing Cabinet, more spider torture and a movie sequence idea are easily his most memorable work in the epistlelary form. Er, um. I 've added below the front and back of the letters as complete documents, the envelope's front and back, and close-ups of the hilarious components for easier viewing.

Chuck got sick of hearing about UVa basketball star, Ralph Sampson. 

Don't know what brought this on, but the juvenile profanity is still funny to me

Again with the spider torture

the phrase "so's that I may have a smoke" is comedy gold

Shit McCoy, a janitor I believe, was my creation. How was this allowed through the US mail?

A Most Obnoxious Envelope. I love this drawing. Wish I had wallpaper made from it.

Complete Front Side of Letter

Complete Back Side of Letter

Chuck's Letters from College: Letter #2 Spider Torture

One of the recurring themes of Chuck's letters is spider torture, the stuff of nightmares. He always seems to work it in on page two, as shown here.

See? Page One: No Hint of Spiders

Pleasant Dreams Indeed!

Be sure to rotate the image to see the return address!

Fabulous back of envelope drawing.

Chuck's Letters from College: Letter #1 Luggage, Baggage and Horrible Cabbage

On a recent trip back to the old homestead in Salem, Va, I unearthed many treasures from the old days. God bless my mom for not throwing this stuff out years ago. Of the many thrilling bits of paper ephemera from ye olden days, the highlight is the discovery of Chuck's letters to me from UVa. They are filled with his distinctive stick figure drawings and, of course, comedy gold. In most cases, the letters and the back and front of envelopes will be shown. You'll see why.

Page one of the letter is boring record collecting stuff. But this...man!

ah, Carl Cabbage in the house

You see where the title of this post originates